tuesday thoughts

Time flies by.
Last year feels like forever ago and like it was yesterday at the same time.

Things were so different back then…
I had just come home from traveling, had a broken heart and no plan.
Maybe things aren’t so different now after all.

My heart is in better condition now which is probably because I haven’t let anyone get remotely close to it and I still have no plan.

I thought I had one a bunch of times but I change my mind like the weather does in the mountains.
What do I want? What is my calling?
What am I born to do?

I know I don’t want an ordinary life and I know I don’t want to stay in one place for a longer period of time.

I want to travel but also educate myself. I want to be an artist but also a teacher.
I want to move far away but also spend time with my loved ones…

I want to have it all and do it all.
I want a home but also the freedom to run.
I need it.

I like being alone but feeling lonely kills me.

I am independent and do what I want in life but I can’t help but feel so much pressure all the time…

All these questions are killing me. People’s judgement when I tell them I don’t really want to study or stay here. The look on their faces when I tell them that I don’t know what I want to do yet and I don’t have a full-time career lined up in front of me.
They look at me as if I was a failure because of that, as if I needed to be fixed because I just want something… different.

Why do you think we are able to dream?
It’s our mind showing us what we could potentially be capable of if we would just allow ourselves the freedom to pursue our dreams.

And I will pursue my dreams. It might take time and effort and tears and struggle but I will and it will be worth it.

People may not understand you, if you go off the beaten track. If you refuse to follow the crowd and that’s okay, everyone is on their own journey.

Just please, don’t mistake other people’s opinions, ideas, feelings or goals with your own.
You are allowed to be different, you don’t need to do what other people do in order to be successful. You can do something completely different and live happily ever after.

Dare to dream.

Please do.

Love,

Eva x

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