hi friends

I’m home.

Where is home? Bavaria, with my Mum and puppy.

I still live in London and will be back shortly, I was just desperate for a break from all the craziness and noise and I felt like maybe if I go home I’m going to come back more energised and things will change and I will be more proactive finally.

Just like I thought once I move out from home I will be more energised and things will change and I will finally be more proactive.

Meh.

Something is in my way and slowing me down MASSIVELY and I am starting to get a really unpleasant sensation that this ‘something’ might be myself and my own self-doubts.

Why am I sabotaging myself?

What the hell is it this time?

Fear of failure, rejection, making a fool of myself, being overwhelmed, not knowing where to start or is it literally just plain, old COMFORT  and unproductive habits that are keeping me stuck even though I am constantly moving?

Or is it the fact that I am constantly moving and never-resting that is keeping me from being more productive and successful?

God, now I’m confusing myself.

Truth is, I DON’T KNOW.

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For weeks, months, if not years I have been asking myself the question:

What is holding me back?

The answer is:

NOTHING.

and also:

EVERYTHING.

The way to do it is to just do it.

But why is just doing it so freaking hard?!

Why can’t I just wake up tomorrow and focus aaaaaaall of my god damn energy on my dreams that I want to achieve SO BAD?

Why am I slacking?

Why am I making excuses?

Why am I selling myself short so much?

I should meditate on this.

Speaking of meditation, another habit I failed to keep up with.

Why am I not even doing the things that are obviously good for me?!

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I think I now know the answer.

Because us humans are creatures of habit and our brain automatically tries to keep us stuck in the old, safe zone of freaking comfort.

You will want to continue to do everything the way you used to unless you actively work against your own patterns and habits.

And not just once. Over and over and over and over again. 

Until one day it becomes natural to you and you don’t need to think and battle with yourself anymore.

The reason I’m writing this blog post is simple and – as always – I want to help myself and I want to provide value to whoever reads this too.

So I am going to do something.

A little experiment. 

I will document the steps I took, take and plan on taking to get myself out of this rut and into the direction of my dreams starting today.

This will put me under a healthy amount of pressure to actually follow through and it might give you a little bit of inspiration too.

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Every week I am going to give myself a little challenge to form a new habit and you’re more than welcome to join me if it’s something you’ve been wanting to incorporate into your life too.

My first challenge starting on Monday will be – you guessed it – my favorite.

Getting up early.

I don’t work a 9 to 5 so it’s really, really (I mean REALLY, REALLY!) difficult for me to get up early.

Actually, lemme rephrase that: It USED to be difficult, now it will become easier every day because I actually want to.

The problem for me isn’t getting up early (in fact, I love it) it’s that I struggle to wind down at night and fall asleep any time before 1-3 am.

So together with getting up early I also have to set myself a bedtime.

Like a child, I know.

Bed time 11 pm. Get up at 7:30 am. 

These are good times for me but you do you here.

I do eventually want to start my mornings even earlier but let’s start with a more humane time and build our way up.

Monday Morning

  • get up at 7:30 am
  • make coffee, lemon water and a smoothie
  • freshen up and get dressed
  • go to the gym
  • get back by 9:30 am
  • shower and get ready
  • breakfast
  • start to work by 10:30 am

(I already feel so productive by just writing this down haha)

Are you in this with me?

Leave me a message or comment below.

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I have 2 more full days here at home and soooooo much to do here that I’ve been putting off for ages so I will leave you for now, write a massive to-do list, do the dishes (you’re welcome, Mum), mediate and go to bed because my alarm goes off at 6:30 am tomorrow.

Yes, that early. Because fuck it, I can.

I can do this.

You can do this.

WE CAN DO THIS, FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!

Good luck,

Eva x

2 thoughts on “hi friends

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