another day, another draft

My thoughts on how to not lose your passion when you do what you love for work and finding the joy in creating only for the sake of it.

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17/05/2018

Not sure what I want to write about today…

I started writing something a week ago but if I don’t finish it right away chances are not very high I’ll ever finish it because I will either forget about it altogether or go back to it and change, delete, add, delete until I go crazy.

I feel like art has to flow(I consider writing an art too in a way) and as soon as you interrupt that flow it gets a lot more complicated than it should be and you start to judge yourself, what you’ve created and thoughts like ‘oh my god, does it sound weird what I’m saying, will it even make sense to people…’ start disrupting our creative energy and it’s hard to then get back into that natural state of creating.

Sometimes I wish I could go back to being 12 years old and writing, singing and expressing myself just for the sake of it.

I didn’t feel the need to show anyone, I didn’t expect anyone to like it, I didn’t want to do it for a living let alone make money from it.

I just did it because it felt good. It felt right for me to do and I wasn’t thinking about it or judging what I was actually doing.

I just did it.

You get me.

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These days I very rarely go through creative periods where I am not thinking about the outcome which is sad, really.

I am trying to write more so I can help more people, grow my audience and monetize so I don’t have to live off a student loan for the rest of my twenties.

I play the guitar and practice my singing to play at open mic nights and on stage so people will like it and I won’t embarrass myself.

I take acting classes to become better at my craft to then go to more auditions and get a part in a play or role in a movie.

18/05/2018

While it is good to focus on your goals and your why (the thing that drives you, gives you purpose; the reason why you do what you do; your mission) I made it my resolution to schedule in time to just create and do things for myself.

And I’m not just talking about the usual self-care type-of-thing like taking a long bath, working out, meditating, eating well and all that jazz, I am talking about actually creating something and not caring about or focusing on the outcome AT ALL.

Here are some thing I have been doing/want to do: 

  • write in a physical journal only for yourself to settle your thoughts
  • write a song (and it can be completely ridiculous)
  • painting anything that comes to mind, no rules, no judgement
  • sketching random things from bed at night
  • singing. In the kitchen, shower; wherever, whatever.
  • learning and playing a really nice song on guitar and showing no-one.

Maybe this gives you some inspiration.

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My motivation here was to really try to listen to my intuition and find out what I need at this moment.

I am currently doing a lot of creative things for a living and full-time so I pretty much HAVE TO do them and even though I enjoy them it can kind of take the fun out of the situation, if you know what I mean.

So I have been trying to focus on what brings me joy and a sense of fulfillment in my free time.

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If you’re any type of creative or artist (or in any job and profession really…) it is very important to keep reinventing yourself in order to not lose the initial passion about our pursuits.

I have collaborated with a few professional photographers that have been doing for instance wedding photography for years and the reason they work with models like me is because they just want to do something different in their field to be able to express themselves creatively.

There is no specific outcome usually, the picture won’t be printed or published, they are not getting paid for it either.

They just do it because they ENJOY IT. And so do I.

I will leave you here and play guitar now, just for me and for fun and THEN I will practice a few songs I have to (and want to) play on stage soon.

Good Luck,

Eva x

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